I’m a little guy just looking for some loving from the universe. I’m gonna be a big strong boy one day!
Start a community with gang in nature/near beach
Trip to Vietnam/Laos
Trip to Peru/Brazil
Gang reunited in London
Trip to exotic beach location with gang
Go to psychedelic festival in Ecuador with gang
There will be days (of course there will be!) that you will not feel 100%. Things happen around you that can trigger you, it is normal, you do not live in a cave! and even if you did live in a cave, you may be triggered by something like that damn caterpillar won’t he just wear shoes that make less noise when he walks?!? As much as we understand the importance of creating your own inner peace and your own inner happiness, events will happen around you that will interact with that. And you may be triggered. You may, because of an external event, react in a way that you may not like, feel feelings you don’t want to feel or have some insecurities come up. The thing is, this is ok. The rule of the game is not to be perfect all the time. We are humans, after all! Even you, god walking on this earth, you are in a human body! you are living the human experience, remember? and the human experience is MESSY. it is a lot of stuff. We can of course be our highest self, basically all the time, every time, without any effort. But still, sometimes, the human experience comes back in. So, what to do when this happens? The first thing to do is to accept it. Feeling guilt or regret for feeling a certain way or having insecurities coming up will not help, you will just feel worse. Let me repeat this: the game is not to be prefect all the time, the game is to overall feel good and happy with who you are.
So, a thing happened, maybe a stressful situation, or someone did something that upset you, and you reacted without thinking about it, without being able to regulate properly the way you may have wanted to. It’s ok. Accept it. No guilt, no shame. BUT, a learning experience. Learn from it so that you can become aware of it and be more prepared for next time. After you accept that you have reacted, because after all you still are in a human body, you can decide, well, to stop reacting and be who you really are again. As Joe Dispenza says ” what matters is not that you react, is how long you are going to react”. So let’s take a concrete example. You are having a stressful day at work, maybe you had a fight with a colleague and she said you are incompetent. All you want to do is go home and eat a whole pack of chocolate cookies and be left the fuck alone. But you go home you eat a cookie, and your husband tells you ”hey weren’t you on a diet? why are you eating those cookies” and SAY NO MORE, you explore, tell him to go fuck himself and find an anorexics top model for a wife, you slam the door and you go to the movies.
OK. You reacted. You yelled at your husband who you loves and who did nothing wrong and you ate cookies even if you were on a diet. Now, stop and think. Why did you do that? What is it that you needed? You wanted to eat cookies so badly. Do you associate eating unhealthy food with calming down? So what you really wanted was to calm down, not really the eating part, right? And why did you yell at your husband? Is it because you the words your colleagues told you have waken up some insecurities and you felt criticized and not accepted? What is it that you needed? You needed reassurance and acceptance.
So, now that you have understand what you really need, it is time you go get it at its source. Go do something that reaaaaaaally calms you down, like a massage, meditating, going to the beach, or taking a bath, whatever really works for you! But try to do something that directly brings up the emotion of being calm, not short cuts like drinking or eating as those won’t actually really work and plus you will probably feel guilty afterwards. Then, after you have calmed down, you still need you reassurance and acceptance. As much as it is great and really important to find loving people who can give this to you, the truth is that you have to find it inside yourself, that is the only true way. For example, you may vent and tell your husband what happened, and you may expect him to reassure you by telling you that you are super good at your job, and he tells you something similar, but if you don’t believe it yourself 100% then his words won’t really impact you that much, or they may a little when he says them but already after 10 minutes you find yourself needing other words of reassurance from him, cause the previous ones it’s like they did not stick.
So, you need to find that reassurance and acceptance yourself, rather than looking for it in other people. But how? well, first of all, write down all that happened at work today and how it made you feel. If you made a mistake a work, accept it, learn from it and move on. Mistake happens, we are not perfect. If it can be fixed then fix it, if it cannot, then there is nothing you can do but learn from it. If you actually did not do anything wrong and it was just your colleague overreacting then acknowledge that, she may also have insecurities that she expresses by lashing onto people. Then, what did you feel? When she told you you were incompetent, did you feel profound sadness? Did you feel intense anger? Did you feel not accepted? If you did, the truth is that you actually think it is true. Otherwise you would not have felt that emotion that much. So this means it is something you need to work on. Why, deep down, do you feel incompetent or not accepted? Do you actually poorly perform? why? or do you perform normally but always have a feeling that you are always bad at what you do or not worthy of the things you have? If you actually realize that you perform poorly and that this makes it unhappy, try to see why and try to change things around you, a small step every day, to improve your performance. If you perform normally, or even work very hard, but always have the feeling like it is not enough and that you are not accepted, then please do reprogramming work. Simply put, as it is a long topic, do everyday meditations that target your core wound. A core wound is an emotion and train of thoughts that got wired into your brain since you were little and then now are deeply part of who you are without you even realize it. A core wound could be, for example, always feeling not accepted, no matter what. This emotion was probably born because maybe your mom did not show you enough love and acceptance when you were little, and now you assume no-one will accept you for who you are. Mind you, it is sub-conscious, you probably do not even realize it. But if you start journaling an exploring your reactions and feelings, you may start becoming aware of those sub-conscious programs. To reprogram then, you need to make your change your sub-conscious from automatically thinking you are not accepted to automatically think you are accepted. It takes time, but it can be done. The best way it through meditation and new factual evidence. Every day, meditate, connect to a high feeling, and tell your self that you are worthy, that you are good enough, that you are accepted. But you really need to feel it, that is key! Tell yourself something you actually believe and that make you feel good. Then, try to avoid finding yourself in situations that prove you otherwise. For example, if your core wound is that you feel not accepted, you meditate everyday but then you are in a toxic relationship were your partner constantly makes you feel not accepted, well, maybe a change in your environment is needed as well. It is a delicate balance, only you can know, deep down, what is best for you. The more you meditate everyday, the more you will reprogram your brain to see acceptance around you rather than non acceptance.
So back to our previous example. If a situation triggers you, before venting with people or eating cookies or whatever, understand what you truly need and what wounds have been touched. Give yourself some time and space to meet your own need and reassure yourself. It is really important that you understand that You have to deal with your emotions and thoughts, those cannot be delegated to others, you cannot expect others to fix them for you, it is not fair to you and not fair to them. Once you are in a better place with yourself, then, please, surround yourself by your supporting network, like close friends and family, this is key, you are not supposed to deal with everything by yourself alone!! Life is also about sharing and opening up and growing together, and be able to be loved for who you are, the whole package!!!
And then you realize, that the act of creation, is nothing but a choice
You choose to be happy
You change your brain waves
You change your thoughts
You change your emotions
You change your energy
Just with mere intention
Just by wanting it
You enter into your future
It is an actual switch
And you make it last, without any force, just letting it be
It is a jump, in another universe, just like that
Waves of love.. coming through
So intense, so powerful, they take me over
I surrender in them, I bathe in them, I let them dance and cuddle all over me
It is magic
And I am grateful.
Why is music so important in all cultures, at any time of our life on earth, everywhere? What it is that makes it, almost, magic? Well.. music is actually a portal. To parallel universes. It is not the only portal, but it is one of the easiest one to access. Music, simply put, transforms your states. It puts you in a specific state. For example, you may feel anxious, then you listen to a certain song, and then you feel calm. You feel like your head is all over the place, then you listen to certain tunes, and you feel more composed and focused. And you may say, sure well my behavior or state can change with anything. True! But music is, itself, the actual instrument to use to purposely change a state of a person or of masses, without any movement needed so in a passive manner, continuously and deeply. The frequencies and vibrations of music alter your state even without you wanting to or without you being aware of it. They just get in your brain and body and alters it. They create, when powerful, a big wave of change. And can even put you in a trance. It is common to use music (and I include chants) in religious or spiritual ceremonies for example, or when performing a certain ritual. It puts the energy of all people present in a certain state, so that all can access a certain universe rather than another one. It is also very common for people purposely use music to be put in a certain state that make them feel certain emotions. For example, when an accountant goes to break dance classes, it is not only because he likes that particular style of dance, but most importantly because it makes him be in a state of total freedom, total expression of his being, without any care or problem in the world, even if for just 30 minutes. In a way, he gets to feel feelings like freedom or flow that he may have difficulties in accessing in his daily life. He basically comes a different person, for those 30 minutes. Unfortunately, expressing oneself or feeling flow just for 30 minutes and then getting back to a life where one feels oppressed and in a cage won’t put you in a parallel universe, it will just make you have a glimpse at it; it is up to you to take the necessary action to actually make the jump, to become the person who constantly is in that state.
So, when I say music is a portal, it is because it can purposely and on a sub-conscious level put you in a different state that will allow for you to make different actions. With training and exercise you can also change your state yourself, but that requires very high levels of awareness and comprehension that not many people reach. Music, well music is for the masses! It is the most elegant and subtitle way to change the tune, to change the frequency of a person, and therefore allowing that person to step in a parallel world, a world that is aligned with that new frequency and state of being. If your brain is sensitive enough, with music one can enter into no time and no space, into the beautiful, sweet, magnificently beautiful present moment, that is the basis for creation. So, this is music.
All this time wondering
What is it that won’t leave me alone
All these years wondering
If I’m really all right
How I am
So one day
I wrote in my notebook
”I will make the world dream with music”
Not long after
When all I needed to do was to
And the truth is
I have waited a long time
For something that is not there
Instead of watching the sun rise
This has always been a way
To stop time and speed
The quick steps of people
The words spoken
Without a heart
Just to make noise
I have waited a long time
For something that is not there
Instead of watching
The sun rise
I did not stop dreaming
I can’t stop hoping
And if there’s a secret
It is to do everything as if
I could only see the sun
A secret is to do everything
Doing it all
I only see the sun
See only the sun
I could only see the sun
Something that is not there
Flowing, flowing, flowing
Like water in a river
Gently following its course
Whole and pure and in full rhythm
With nature, with silence, with the magical present moment
Flowing into the unknown
Flowing into the full beauty
Of this eternal time
Step 1: becoming aware
The first step to create is… to become aware. Start by becoming aware of every thought that runs through your head, of the way you talk, of the way you act, of the way you react…just start noticing and paying attention. No judgment, just pure curiosity. Then, notice how you feel. Ask yourself how you feel all day long…how certain thoughts make you feel, how certain people make you feel, how events that happen around you make you feel. Are you feeling relaxed, serene, whole or are you feeling stressed, sad, anxious, overwhelmed or simply unhappy? Well if it’s the latter, and if you are reading these lines, I am assuming you are ready to change that! You are tired of feeling unhappy, you are tired of not feel good about yourself. You are tired of being you. But it is so hard to change, isn’t it? Maybe you feel good for a couple of hours, you managed to change a bad habit for a couple of days, and then, booom! Back to reality oh! There comes gravity! oh! And you come back at square one, with even more frustration than before because you thought you were out of there…but…no…
The reason why it is so easy to fall back into the old unhappy thoughts and feelings is because we are so used to them, we had them for so long, that they have become automatic, we have programmed them into our brain. Basically, they have become our status quo. Our normality. They are part of our sub-conscious and secretly drive every action we take. They are our autopilot in a way. Our sub-conscious gets programmed, as Thais Gibson explains it so well and in depth in her extremely comprehensive courses, by repetition plus emotions. So for example, if you grew up in a household where you mom where telling you every day that you were not good enough, well that’s probably how you feel now, in your thirties. And you have probably created a life that reflects that. So, you grow up thinking and feeling like you were not good enough just because it was repeated to you by someone you deeply cared about therefore produced an intense emotion, then you started to act like that was true, so you created a reality were you are, according to you, not good enough. And the sub-conscious is so strong, and creates such deep roots within your personality, that no matter what happens to you, no matter what other people say, you will always feel like you are not good enough, and you won’t even realize it! You focus so much you attention on that, that you will end of only seeing that you are not good enough, nothing else. This is actually more common than you think. How many people have perfectly good lives but are depressed? Why do you think is that? Well, it is because no matter what happens in the external world, if inside of you you feel unworthy, bad, a failure, a fraud etc etc, than that is what matters. Even if you have a wife that loves you, even if you have a decent job, even if you are in good health. And mind me, this does not mean that external factors cannot contribute to how you feel. But, how many people decide to stay in toxic situations or negative environment without really trying to get out of them, even if they would like to? Well, if deep inside of you you feel like you do not deserve anything better or you fear being alone, then you will not change anything.
What does that mean? That our internal world is much more powerful than our external world.
So, we said the first step is to become aware of every thought and feeling you have. When you look into them, try to see if they can all reconnect to one common fear, even if on the surface they look very different from each other. For example, you may get really angry at times, and you also may be really shy during public speeches. Very different, right? Well, let’s examine them. Why are you getting intensely angry? It could be that you have poor boundaries, and you let people do and say things to you that really make you uncomfortable until you reach a point where you cannot take it anymore and you explode. Why do you let people do that, why don’t you tell them to change or stop their behavior as it happens in the moment instead of letting it repeat over and over again? Well, because you are afraid of their reaction. You are scared that they may not like you anymore, and leave you. So, when you look at the roots of the anger problem, it is out of fear of abandonment. Why about public speech? That is an easier connection to make. You are afraid you will not perform well and that people will think you are not good enough, meaning they will ultimately leave you. Also in this case, at the bottom, there is fear of abandonment.
The fear of abandonment is truly one of human biggest fears. If you link it to more biologic states, it is linked to the fear of not be able to reproduce and also to the fear of dying as, alone, we have less supportive mechanisms and we are easier targets. So it is literally linked to our survival. However, you may agree with me that survival in the years 2000s, with few exceptions, looks very different from when humans were living in the jungle, and had to sleep with an eye open to avoid being eaten by a predator!
So now, our fear of abandonment and overall survival mechanism gets activated for the most irrelevant and superficial things, that are mostly wired within us since when we are little kids, by pour parents and our environment. For example, we may grow up obsessing with our physical appearance and feeling insecure over it, or thinking that we always need to have good grades at school otherwise we are a failure, or that we need to have the proper ‘’job-wife-house-kid’’ deal to feel like you have succeeded in life. However in our modern society, if you don’t get all straight As, you will most probably still survive and have a pretty normal life. If you don’t get married, you also will still survive and can be even happier! But the sub-conscious pressure to conform, the automatic fears linked to abandonment that certain situations bring, are really just cultural and depend on how you were raised. Some people were raised by a mother that told them everyday there were beautiful the way they are and could do anything they wanted in their life, others by mothers that told them if they did not lose weight or improved their grades they were a failure. When you are a little kid you depend on your parents for survival, so if you parents love you ”with conditions” the fear of abandonment gets activated. These two approaches will shape a person behavior over time and create different fears and different reactions to everyday events that will last even after the person has grown up. The little girl who was told every day she needed to lose weight in order to be loved, well she will probably struggle with feeling accepted by her peers, will most grow up being insecure, and probably be obsessed by her weight and will have image issues. The other little girl, who felt loved for the way she was, will probably not have these issues. What a difference, right? The way we were raised, the environment we grew up with, really forges us much more than we think. We indeed mostly are a result of it. And the identity we built, is mostly based on this and is reinforced everyday by the way we act. For example, if we grew up feeling not accepted for the way we are, we will probably grow up assuming people reject us or that we are not good enough. So we will most likely act insecurely, and paying careful attention to behaviors people have towards us that confirm we are rejected or not good enough, which will strengthen the belief that we are not good enough and rejected. This will, of course, also strengthen our identity: we identify as a person who is insecure and not good enough.
And when you become aware, which is the first step to create, is when a huge realization happens: just because I assume people will reject me or that I am not good enough, doesn’t systematically mean that it is true! Can it be possible that I am actually simply projecting my past into my future, therefore creating a self-fulfilling prophecy? Hell yes!! Your brain has been over time so used to thinking a certain way, that, even before the event happens it will assume a certain context will happen again, will therefore fire the same thoughts which lead to the same emotions, even before the event even occurs! And as thoughts and emotions lead to actions dictated by them on a sub-conscious level, you will act as a person who is insecure, you will focus your attention on that, you will see that in other people’s looks and actions, and this is the reality that will manifest!
So, to recap: step 1 to create is to become aware of every thought and emotion different everyday situations make you feel, and try to understand what are the root fears attached to them. A good exercise is to write them down in a journal. You can write them down at the end of your day, or as they happen by keeping a pen and paper handy. You can write down sentences like this one, for example: ”today my colleague talked to me in a rude way, without any reason. I really felt sad because of it, I felt unappreciated and disrespected. I spent the whole rest of the day thinking about what I did wrong and why she acted like that. I felt stressed by it, so I noticed I responded badly to my husband for no reason and I ate junk food. I care about her judgment and my colleagues opinions of me because I want to be reassured that I am good at what I do and that people like me”.
And this is where the reprogramming happens, which is the second step to create.